Justin Bieber and Octomom Investigated

Justin BieberSometimes I forget that Blackmailers Don’t Shoot is a Los Angeles based blog. A funny thing about L.A., if you’ve never been here, is that the city is really big. I live in the part that isn’t even trying to be hip. Hell, the last semi-famous person I saw in person was the guy who plays Leonard on Big Bang Theory, and that was two years ago. Nonetheless, both of these characters live about 20 traffic-free minutes from where I live, so proximity and laziness prompt this celebrity gossip post.

Justin Bieber is being investigated for possible felony vandalism

Justin Bieber is being investigated by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department amid accusations that he egged his neighbor’s Calabasas home. TMZ breathlessly reports that

In California, if the damage is greater than $400 it becomes FELONY vandalism.  We’re told the homeowner’s damage could be in the 10s of thousands of dollars because the very expensive Venetian plaster on the outside of the house has to be redone, and very expensive doors and other items were either damaged or ruined.

Fox News reports that in executing a felony search warrant on Bieber’s house, “cocaine was in plain view” and a rapper named “Lil Za” was arrested on narcotics charges.

Octomom accused of welfare fraud

In news that everyone saw coming from about 50 miles away, Nadya “Octomom” Suleman is due in court on Friday where she is charged with failing to disclose income from appearances and her solo porn video. [Wait, what? People actually bought that monstrosity?] According to the Los Angeles Times,

that failure to report allegedly resulted in her illegally receiving $16,481 in welfare payments, according to the criminal complaint obtained by L.A. Now. The cash, doled out in the first half of 2013, came from the CalWorks financial assistance program and the CalFresh food aid program.

The prosecution will likely seek $25,000 bail for the mother of 14.

Now I feel all dirty. I hope that was worth it.

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