Vicious Heteropatriarch Oppresses Sandwich-Making Kidnap Victim

Ace has a post about New York Post reporter Stephanie Smith, who claims to be in the process of making 300 sandwiches for her boyfriend in exchange for an engagement ring. Her blog is here if you’re curious.

My boyfriend, Eric, is the gourmet cook in our relationship, but he’d always want me to make him a sandwich.

Each morning, he would ask, “Honey, how long you have been awake?”

“About 15 minutes,” I’d reply.

“You’ve been up for 15 minutes and you haven’t made me a sandwich?”

To him, sandwiches are like kisses or hugs. Or sex. “Sandwiches are love,” he says. “Especially when you make them. You can’t get a sandwich with love from the deli.”

Well, you can imagine how well that over with certain idiots who don’t have any understanding of context or humor.

Lefties are such a joyful lot.

I honestly don’t know how any relationship between two people on the Left survives. See, sometimes when my girlfriend comes over she cooks dinner. It’s not that I can’t cook dinner, but she knows that I like it and she doesn’t mind doing it. It’s the same when I go with her to Target to look at stupid junk. It makes her happy and I don’t mind doing it. That’s how things work. If I asked her to make dinner and she screamed “Oppressor!” we wouldn’t be together, the same as if she wanted to go to Target and I told her I was going to stay in the apartment and watch reruns all day.

The guy in the story is a gourmet cook, so he could make his own damn sandwich if he was so inclined, but it makes him feel special when his girlfriend does it for him.  That’s just the kind of thing that people who care about each other and value their sanity do for one another.

The Left hates human nature, because human nature runs counter to a perfect society. The problem is that human nature can only be suppressed and denied before it snaps right back.

Men and women need each other, and the reason for this need is that men and women are different. Insofar as feminism is about encouraging men and women to be more the same — to be androgynous and sexless — then feminism makes marriage less desirable as an object, less durable and more prone to conflict.

It’s not like Stephanie Smith is chained to a stove somewhere – she’s a reporter for crying out loud – but one day she might make a great housewife. And good for her if she does.

Update: Linked up at Regular Right Guy. I guess it’s time for another national conversation.

Advertisements

10 comments

  1. Vassilis

    It is almost funny, like all true situations. But when out of the intimacy box of the relation it might look bad. I like the last quote. I almost agree with all of it.

  2. Gungagalunga

    A friend’s wife not only goes fishing with him, but she cleans her own fish…that’s ten times better than a sammich (unless it’s a really good sammich)…why me hungy?

      • thatmrgguy

        If she makes a really good reuben, though, that trumps fishing any day.

        Damn straight! Although Pastrami on Rye with Provolone Cheese and Spicy Honey Mustard comes a close second.

        P.S. I like the “German” Rueben with Mustard instead of the Thousand Island type dressing.

  3. Pingback: Death on Long Island: Another Karma Malfunction | Regular Right Guy
  4. Pingback: FMJRA 2.0: Stripped : The Other McCain