Washington Post Names Teacher of the Year

Neal Erickson

Neal Erickson

The next time a group of teachers starts stamping their feet for more money, I have a suggestion so revolutionary that it might rival the Theory of Relativity.

Teachers, stop banging your students.

I know, it’s controversial and the unions will fight it tooth and nail, but I think that this is an idea that even the public will like, and they might even gladly accept the higher taxes in exchange for teachers keeping their hands off of the kids. See, teachers are compensated decently enough, and they have great benefits and pensions. They also work about nine months out of the year, and raise your hand if you wouldn’t like that sort of schedule. In light of all this, the average person looks at the whole sex-with-students thing and sees another perk that everyone else doesn’t have. It’s about fairness.

There’s a second part to this, though, and it might be difficult for some teachers to adhere to it. When another teacher gets caught having the now forbidden sex with one of his or her students, don’t defend that teacher. Because when you defend said teacher, the public will be all, “Oh, well of course you would say that. You just don’t want to stop doinking your students.” Seriously, it just doesn’t look good.

Update: Thanks to RS McCain and Regular Right Guy for the linkage. Link to Ace fixed.


  1. Pingback: Syria: Who’s on First? That’s What I said, ‘Who’s on First!’ | Regular Right Guy
  2. Pingback: YOLO .341, ‘F–K THE HATERS,’ and Other Evidence of Encroaching Madness : The Other McCain