Grad Students Are Even More Hosed Than I Thought

I posted a few days ago on the trend of disgraced public figures becoming adjunct professors (known in universities as indentured servants,) and what this meant for the academic market for Ph.D. candidates in Tupac Shakur Studies. After all, if Eliot Spitzer and Jim McGreevey are filling those positions, your dissertation on lesbianism in medieval England from 1234 to 1236 just isn’t worth what your professors are telling you.

Well, it’s worse than I thought. Because no matter how politically correct your every word and gesture may be, you do not have the bona fides of the penultimate PC hero: the left wing domestic terrorist.

Ryan James Girdusky writes at ViralRead and The Other McCain that “At least a dozen former members of domestic terrorist organizations are now college professors.” These include “Kathy Boudin, former member of the Weather Underground who was convicted in 1984 of felony murder,” “Howard Machtinger, who was charged with conspiring to bomb the Detroit Police Officers Association Building and was on the run from the law for five years from 1973 to 1978[,]” and of course Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn. Joining this list is a motley hodgepodge of former Black Panthers, radical environmentalists and general malcontents, all of whom now have the jobs five hundred Transgendered Inuit Studies Majors are vying for.

Honestly, I knew that the situation was bad, but not this bad. If disgraced public figures are filling adjunct professorships, clearly the solution is to become a disgraced public figure and then apply for your dream job at the university. However, in good conscience I can’t recommend that current grad students become domestic terrorists. I mean, I have morals.

On the other hand, how else would you compete with these people? Your average professor, with his subscription to Harper’s and tattered copy of Das Kapital, has long harbored an alternate version of himself as a violent class warrior. How are you going to stack up when the man or woman that he has always wanted to be is at the faculty party?

The only answer? Become the ultimate PC hero, the Islamic terrorist.

Update: Tweeted by Mike G, who always plugs this blog after I’ve gone to bed. .


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